Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize