what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
