so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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