Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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