Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
