No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
