hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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