That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
