Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
return my video game
there's paper in my vomit.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
