You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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