So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
