Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
one might say we're banned from that church
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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