I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
