I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
