Yo dont text me then not text me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
