this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
