You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My life is pants optional.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
