I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i think i have two assholes
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
