I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
