Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
