OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
