I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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