He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
