Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
