Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
