well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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