Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Did I show you my penis last night?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
