just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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