you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
