oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
