Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
