We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
