I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
