Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
