I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
