yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
