I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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