Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
