R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
