i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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