i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
