Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
