I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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