I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
