We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
