I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
