I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
