shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
