Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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