Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
