i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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